I'm not proud to be white

I'm not proud to be white.

Now, I can just hear your thought process. Because I say I'm not proud, that must mean I'm ashamed, right? Or, 'damn right. You shouldn't be.'

No, stupid.

It means, that I am white, and I don't think about being white. Unless some one else brings it up. Like gay pride parades, or "I'm proud to be Irish". I'm not either - I'm just white. Or, how white people recently dragging a poor black guy down the road is a racially - motivated incident (which it is), but black people torturing and killing some white kids isn't. (Did you know Federal law stipulates that you cannot commit a racially - motivated crime against a non-minority (spelled white)?)

Or how, when I apply for a job, I look around the room, and I see that even though I have more qualifications than most, every person in the room that is NOT a white guy automatically gets in front of me for consideration.

Otherwise, I really don't consider it.

Maybe I would have more pride if I hadn't had shame and guilt beat into me by society since I was little. "White people had slaves 200 years ago, and you should be sorry." "White oppressors." I don't remember a positive comment ever coming after 'The white race....'

I dunno. All races started out wearing loincloths and alternately chasing and being chased by dinosaurs. Somehow white people got an upper hand. We apparently caught on faster, but instead of feeling victorious, I have to listen to State Governors apologize for it?

Then, look at our only fraternal organization. Everybody else has several (if you are a drunk, you have hundreds at your disposal, but I digress). The only white group you can join requires you to wear a pillowcase on your head and be hateful to everybody. Screw that. I'm sure its' illegal, but I'd like to start a national association for the advancement of white men. We would wear Hawaiian shirts, and you could drink if you wanted to, and we would grill out on weekends and our Federal Holiday and watch sports and those funny Japanese shows where people fall into moats and off of towers competing for prizes. I don't even care if all the people there weren't white - this is my club. You make your own club.

I just don't get it. Minorities here are still claiming second-citizen status. White people who stick up for themselves are wrong. Ask Kramer - if one calls you a cracker, and you call him a nigger, you are the one making the faux pas. Entire comedy routines on how ofay (look it up) is stupid has made several people millions. You call one basketball team nappy headed one time, and you are through in broadcasting.

But there are entire countries in Africa right now, this second, where black people (can't call them minorities - they ARE the majority there) are chopping each other up with machetes over the size of their noses (Hutu vs Tutsi - you really need to use this net for more than porn, dude).

Where is the outrage? The black community raising money and awareness to stop it? Where is the Mexican Liberation Army? You know, all the illegals here making money. Why aren't they buying guns at gun shows, and going home and stomping the ass of their oppressors that cause them to leave home in the first place?

I sound glib, but I am dead serious: how can I take some of the complaints seriously when the complainants aren't taking themselves seriously?

Why isn't there a national I-am-sorry-to-the-Native-American day? And, its' a free country. Why don't the indians move off of the reservations? Seriously?

In close, I am a Christian White Fat Man. A dwindling species. If you get offended because I have decided not to be bashful or ashamed about it anymore, tough for you. If you are appalled and aggrieved because I refuse to show guilt for the past, too bad. If you are displeased that I expect you, as a minority, to renounce the EEOC, affirmative action, and all other handouts that demonstrate your subordinance to me in perpetuity, and just go to work like the rest of us, I don't care.

It's your call. I hear my grill.