I'm a cop!

I am a COP

Mr. Citizen, it seems you've figured me out. I fit neatly into the category where you've placed me.I'm stereotyped, standardized, characterized, classified, grouped, and always typical. Unfortunately, the reverse is true. I can never figure you out.

From birth, you teach your children that I'm the bogeyman and then you're shocked when they identify/associate with my traditional enemy.... the criminal!
You accuse me of coddling criminals.... until I catch your kids doing wrong.
You may take an hour for lunch and several coffee breaks each day, but point me out as a loafer for having one cup.
You pride yourself on your manners, but think nothing of disrupting my meals with your troubles.
You raise Cain with the guy who cuts you off in traffic, but let me catch you doing the same thing and I'm picking on you.
You know all the traffic laws.... but you've never gotten a single ticket you deserve.
You shout "FOUL" if you observe me driving fast to a call, but raise the roof if I take more than ten seconds to respond to your complaint.
You call it part of my job if someone strikes me, but call it police brutality if I strike back.
You wouldn't think of telling your dentist how to pull a tooth or your doctor how to take out an appendix, yet you are always willing to give me pointers on the law.
You talk to me in a manner that would get you a bloody nose from anyone else, but expect me to take it without batting an eye.
You yell that something's got to be done to fight crime, but you can't be bothered to get involved.
You have no use for me at all, but of course it's OK if I change a flat for your wife, deliver your child in the back of the patrol car, or perhaps save your son's life with mouth to mouth breathing, or work many hours overtime looking for your lost daughter.

So, Mr. Citizen, you can stand there on your soapbox and rant and rave about the way I do my work, calling me every name in the book, but never stop to think that your property, family, or maybe even your life depends on me or one of my buddies.Yes, Mr. Citizen, it's me the cop!

I'm not proud to be white

I'm not proud to be white.

Now, I can just hear your thought process. Because I say I'm not proud, that must mean I'm ashamed, right? Or, 'damn right. You shouldn't be.'

No, stupid.

It means, that I am white, and I don't think about being white. Unless some one else brings it up. Like gay pride parades, or "I'm proud to be Irish". I'm not either - I'm just white. Or, how white people recently dragging a poor black guy down the road is a racially - motivated incident (which it is), but black people torturing and killing some white kids isn't. (Did you know Federal law stipulates that you cannot commit a racially - motivated crime against a non-minority (spelled white)?)

Or how, when I apply for a job, I look around the room, and I see that even though I have more qualifications than most, every person in the room that is NOT a white guy automatically gets in front of me for consideration.

Otherwise, I really don't consider it.

Maybe I would have more pride if I hadn't had shame and guilt beat into me by society since I was little. "White people had slaves 200 years ago, and you should be sorry." "White oppressors." I don't remember a positive comment ever coming after 'The white race....'

I dunno. All races started out wearing loincloths and alternately chasing and being chased by dinosaurs. Somehow white people got an upper hand. We apparently caught on faster, but instead of feeling victorious, I have to listen to State Governors apologize for it?

Then, look at our only fraternal organization. Everybody else has several (if you are a drunk, you have hundreds at your disposal, but I digress). The only white group you can join requires you to wear a pillowcase on your head and be hateful to everybody. Screw that. I'm sure its' illegal, but I'd like to start a national association for the advancement of white men. We would wear Hawaiian shirts, and you could drink if you wanted to, and we would grill out on weekends and our Federal Holiday and watch sports and those funny Japanese shows where people fall into moats and off of towers competing for prizes. I don't even care if all the people there weren't white - this is my club. You make your own club.

I just don't get it. Minorities here are still claiming second-citizen status. White people who stick up for themselves are wrong. Ask Kramer - if one calls you a cracker, and you call him a nigger, you are the one making the faux pas. Entire comedy routines on how ofay (look it up) is stupid has made several people millions. You call one basketball team nappy headed one time, and you are through in broadcasting.

But there are entire countries in Africa right now, this second, where black people (can't call them minorities - they ARE the majority there) are chopping each other up with machetes over the size of their noses (Hutu vs Tutsi - you really need to use this net for more than porn, dude).

Where is the outrage? The black community raising money and awareness to stop it? Where is the Mexican Liberation Army? You know, all the illegals here making money. Why aren't they buying guns at gun shows, and going home and stomping the ass of their oppressors that cause them to leave home in the first place?

I sound glib, but I am dead serious: how can I take some of the complaints seriously when the complainants aren't taking themselves seriously?

Why isn't there a national I-am-sorry-to-the-Native-American day? And, its' a free country. Why don't the indians move off of the reservations? Seriously?

In close, I am a Christian White Fat Man. A dwindling species. If you get offended because I have decided not to be bashful or ashamed about it anymore, tough for you. If you are appalled and aggrieved because I refuse to show guilt for the past, too bad. If you are displeased that I expect you, as a minority, to renounce the EEOC, affirmative action, and all other handouts that demonstrate your subordinance to me in perpetuity, and just go to work like the rest of us, I don't care.

It's your call. I hear my grill.

Immigration Policies

It dawns on me that I can sum up our immigration policy in a simple childs' game: Red light! Green light!

For those of you whose minds have faltered, or you led a sheltered life, here is the gist of the gameplay -

A group of people (we'll call them, for the purposes of todays' lesson immigrants) line up ( we'll call this the border). One person pretends to be a traffic control signal. They yell Green light! and all of the immigrants take off at a dead run across the border. Suddenly, the traffic control yells Red Light!.... all the immigrants should stop immediately. No movement (no se mueva). The green/red cycle continues until someone reaches the traffic control, at which point they win the right to stand in the stead of the original traffic control.

Sound familiar?

That is *exactly* our immigation policy. If you are smart enough to find your way over our border, you can stay here. Our hospitals have to treat you if you are sick. Many states will give you a drivers' privilege - er license. You plop a child out, and it is a triple bonus, you just hatched a real, live American citizen. As long as you don't run afoul of the law, you can spend out your remaining days on this planet in the gracious, loving arms of the US of A.

I don't care if you believe me, or if you agree. Both immaterial. You don't have to be in agreement with a fact for it to be a fact.

When is the last time you heard of a German being deported, or a Lithuanian? No, they may not ride into Nogales in the back of a straight truck. They just overstay their visas.

Hey, we're the melting pot, right? Quit being a -phobe, right?

Well, let me offer you a simple comparison. What happens if someone is caught sneaking into China/the FSSR/ hell, Mexico?

Yeah. Jail. Potentially worse if you are a US citizen.

So, the rest of the world can practice isolationism, but it is racist or centrist if we do?

Bullshit.

And, while I am on the topic, I am over the California-Mexican-lettuce-picker analogy. It too is bullshit.

There is a huge invader (I refuse to call them by their euphimism, 'undocumented alien') population where I live. They don't pick anything. They work factory jobs, and most make more money than I do. Even the ones making 8-9 an hour, because they (listen carefully) don't pay fica.

That's right. In addition to sending huge sums back home (I have personally seen it), except for where a tax is built in like fuel or food, they don't pay taxes. (A tax is money we give to the Government in order for us to have centralized utilities, roads, and Public Safety). And, they don't pay for health care.

They *do* drive around in nice cars, with Guttierez or Hernandez written in script on the back. And, they live in the local Wal-Mart. Never buy anything, but love to harass the local women.


In other words, there is a huge population that takes a large chunk out of the apple without ever fertilizing the first seed.

THAT is what is wrong with unchecked immigration. Quit making it a racist issue. That image of de poor, downtrodden senor, hunched back picking de let-tuce, is a racist stereotype. The issue is that there are an unknown quantity (over a thousand in Lenoir City, Tennesee alone) of people sucking off the welfare tit and funneling the proceeds over the border who do not share in paying for their childrens' education, or maintaining roads, or paying for their health care.

Stop letting these people jump up and down on your guilt nerve. Research some statistics and see how badly you feel for these people, not just hispanic, but all of them.

If one person feels persecuted from their homeland, we should welcome them. Ten, a thousand, sure. Hundreds of thousands? HELL, no. Turn them back, make them sharpen their hoes and pitchforks, and let them fix their own country. We aren't the worlds' nanny, and we shouldn't be the policeman, either.

Any other argument just doesn't hold water.

Dreams and Their Meanings

I woke up angry this morning.

Usually when I dream, as I awake, I realize it was a dream and I let it go. This dream kept me angry; while I brushed my teeth, I was angry. Put my clothes on angry (I don't recommend it.) Got to the car to leave, and I was still angry. This tells me that either the dream hit close to home, or there was some validity to it.

So, I call my buddy John for some outside validation. He agreed, and now I share my issues with you, gentle reader.

I dreamt I returned to college to finish my degree. Instead of my current (awake) plan to do this by internet, for some reason I needed to actually attend a class. So, there I was. The faceless teacher (in the dream, of course, otherwise this post would be about something entirely else) announced we would state the Pledge of Allegiance.

I thought, 'cool. Like in grade school. Ballsy, considering our day and age, but cool nonetheless.'

At this point, this guy in the back of the class starts voicing his disapproval of the idea. If you've ever seen the "two a-holes" skit on SNL, you already have the mental image of the guy I am talking about.

He says that as a 'murikan he didn't have to say it, because of our policies blah blah blah.

Now, for those of you that think his viewpoint makes sense, attention:

You are wrong.

The Pledge of Allegiance is where you pledge your allegiance, to the flag, of the United States of America. This means you think the US of A is the best, and you are on our side. If you do NOT freely and without reservation recite the pledge, that means that you are not allied with the US.

And, you should get the fuck out. Period.

Don't overthink. Don't try to explain. Don't waffle, or offer an excuse.

No. Where you are born doesn't automatically make you one of us regardless of current Federal Regulation.

You are either an American, or you are not. Period. No, you do not have to agree with every decision America has made. Yes, you still get the right to free speech.

But you are either, at the end of the day, one of us, or not. If you are not, get out. Now. If you burn the flag, get out. If you denounce the US, or renounce your nationality by hanging with groups who are for the overthrow of the US, get out.

You couldn't do what you're doing in other countries, go after the country you're in, that is. In fact, you couldn't do a LOT of things. Like be an adjective American. You know, those people who have to be two things, like african-American, or whatever.

You are either an American, or you are not. Period.

This devisive thinking is why America is in the hole she presently finds herself in. So, I say it is high time you start some introspection. Either you are fer us, or you are agin us. If you decide you are against America, have the pride and decency to go elsewhere. Renounce your US Citizenship. It's the right thing to do. If you say you hate America, or whatever cutsey slant you put on it, but you remain here, you are and have zero credibility. Hypocrite.

What a country, that offers the freedom to allow people to shit all over it from its' own relative safety.